Information on Grieving

Grief for Bereaved Parents

As a parent, you will never “get over” the loss of your baby.  You will, however, learn to move forward and integrate your loss into your daily life.  You are forever changed by your baby’s death and how you interact with the world will be different now, but the impact of your baby’s existence will hold true in your heart for your lifetime.  No one quite understands the depth and intensity of this type of a loss.  Many parents find this type of grief almost unbearably devastating.

Grieving is an individual experience.  It has a number of processes and phases.  Each parent will experience the phases differently.  Men experience grief differently than women.  There is no right or wrong way to grieve.

Stages of Grief

Denial and Isolation (“This isn’t happening to me”)  We tend to deny the loss has taken place and may withdraw from our usual social contacts.  Some parents may want to avoid things familiar to them during pregnancy such as the workplace or favorite restaurants.  These places may trigger memories of the pregnancy.

Anger (“Why did this happen to me”)  We tend to want to place blame for our experiences, and a loss is no different.  You may be angry at the world just for letting this happen, or angry with yourself for not doing things “just right”, when in reality, nothing could have changed the outcome.

Bargaining (If I “blank”, will you please fix this for me?)  A grieving person may tend to want to ask God to make a deal if he will just mend your broken heart.

Depression (I just want to sleep!)  A grieving person may often feel numb, may want to withdraw and spend time away from usual activities including work, social activities, and favorite hobbies.  You may want to spend more time sleeping or the opposite, staying up all night as a method of avoidance. 
Note:  Depression is a treatable medical condition.  If your symptoms do not improve with time, consult with your physician.

Acceptance  (What happened was tragic and I’ll always miss my child, but it happened for a reason and this is my reality now)  This is the stage of grief when the anger, sadness and mourning have tapered off and the person simply accepts the reality of their loss.  This does not mean that a person no longer grieves their loss, but they’ve accepted it and have moved forward with their lives.

Types of behavior in dealing with Grief

Shock/Numbness:  The first reaction to a loss is shock.  It can last for minutes or for days or weeks.  You might feel numb or be in disbelief.

Disorganization: You may be unable to make the simplest decisions or attend to your daily routine.

Reorganization:  You may feel like reorganizing your life will help you better deal with your grief, but it may be best to hold off on any major reorganizing.

Grief Facts

There is no timetable for grieving.
Men grieve the loss of their child too.

Family members may be grieving, and may not know what to say or how to act with you regarding your child's death

 To request our newsletter please call us at 479-305-8588  or email info@nwashare.org

All meetings are held at the Circle of Life in Springdale, AR at 7 p.m.